If international diplomacy is this intense, the Hans Island dispute may never be solved. Sometime ago I wrote about a new beer commissioned by Sherbrooke Liquor, Hans Across the Water, which aimed, in part, to try to help resolve the longstanding dispute between Canada and Denmark over the remote arctic rock called Hans Island.

As an effort in international peace-making the beer didn’t succeed, as neither Prime Minister responded to Sherbrooke’s offer to mediate. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t a good beer.

From the moment it arrived in the province, I fully intended to try it. However it comes in a big-ass 1.5 litre bottle. And as a 10% beer, that means the bottle is actually just stupid, crazy big. Big enough that it makes one ask how they are supposed to deal with it. No human being can be expected to consume that on their own in one sitting.

So it took me a while to find the circumstances where I could justify opening it. But I finally did recently.

Hans is brewed as a vanilla coffee porter in a bit of a Baltic Porter tradition. It has what is probably the most frustrating enclosure I have ever stumbled across. It has a short, champagne-style cork that is virtually impossible to remove. After a couple of minutes of futile pulling, I finally gave up and drove a corkscrew into the sucker. Not a good beginning.

The beer is opaque dark brown verging on black. It has a thick, dense head that lingers forever. By its look I might label it an Imperial Stout more than a porter, but that is likely due to its size. The aroma offers light coffee roast, dark chocolate, sweet molasses and brown sugar. I also pick up some vanilla and wood and hints of alcohol.

Upon sipping the opening is raisin, dark fruit, chocolate, cocoa, sweet vanilla and some vague woodiness. In the middle I pick up tannin, earthiness and coffee roast. It has a sharp, dry flavour with a dark roast dimension. The body is slick and earthy and it has a linger of sweet coffee and vanilla.

This is a fascinating beer. Not quite a stout, but too big for a porter. The alcohol is well hidden and the vanilla gives it something of an oak-aged character. It is a nice sipper and I am glad I shared it. Not sure I would fork over another $26 to get a second. However, it is a lovely, warming sipping option. It makes me wonder why they didn’t put it in 330 ml bottles, where it belongs?

And then there is the beer’s political ambitions. It failed because they failed to remember that Stephen Harper is a robot and robots don’t drink beer. I suspect the Danish PM might have been into it, but one side is not enough. Which means Hans Island remains contested and beer drinkers across the nation must wrestle with the stupid cork they put in this beer, which might be enough to start its own diplomatic dispute.